Friday, August 15, 2014

So... it has been a while since I have written anything and this has nothing to do with science or nature. It has to do with something much more vast and mysterious...
So after a week of online dating I have the following observations.

- Evidently adventurous nurses and teachers find me attractive. Thank you for that.  I have to step up my game and take better care of myself and read more instead of...oh I don't know.... spending every waking moment on an online dating site.

- A lot of women, and I say women only because men do not show up in my search filter but I imagine we are just as bad, say no drama and no baggage. I understand this intolerance but that alone is drama and baggage. We all have drama and baggage. It is nice to know that you are willing to get mud on you Elizabethan dress and risk getting mud on your tiara when my steed periodically bucks me off.
- For some reason we all have selfies in our car on our profiles. I love them. I can tell a lot about you from that. That is why my next car selfies is going to show a high speed car chase in the back window.
- I you say "looking for someone to share my interests" do not stop there! For the love of the Creator tell me what those interests are in as much detail as possible!
- Having lots of sexy pics of yourself with no bio tells me exactly how boring you are.
- Long walks on the beach and candle light dinners... why aren't the beaches more crowded at night and how come I can always get a seat at a restaurant. Mos def do not expect this to be the first date. These are things I will share with someone when they are special.
- When you say you enjoy riding on the back of a bike or boating do you have a motorcycle or a boat or is this one of those expectations I flunked? You don't want my baggage or drama but you want my bike and my boat.
- If God is #1 in your life what do you want me for? Not being snarky I really want to know. I sorta get it. My dad was a Baptist minister and if not for this long running crisis of faith I have had I very well could be Jesuit Priest right now.
- Your children on the other hand better be the most important thing in your life. Mine are and shame on you for thinking they never will be. I even get along with their mother.
- Ex's happen. They become filters of the way we see things so they will come up in conversation so try to be a little more tolerant.
- Sex. Now that is the elephant in the corner of the room. We are not as evolved as we think we are. I admit I want a long term relationship. I want to get married again. I am not going to love and leave any more than dine and dash but if there is no sex or if it is boring that is going to put a damper on things. Ladies... I am so sorry you got played. I am so sorry if I ever did it. But we are animals and this is what we do.
- Just because I am an old white guy, geriatric European-American, doesn't mean that is the ethnicity I am interested in. If you are a geek and like exploring then it doesn't matter what the gene pool handed you. To be fair... most of the time when I do use the search filters I do select America Indian, Indian, Middle Eastern, Asian, and African American.
- Honesty, trustworthy, and loyal have to be proven. Saying that is what you want isn’t going to guarantee it. Dickwads will use this to prey on you.

- Women my age are hot!
- Now this is the hardest part for me to admit. I told a friend of mine this the other day and I owe her roses for this breakthrough. If the women I know don't find me attractive then I have no expectation that complete strangers will either. So enough trolling. Enough living complete lifetimes in a single thought. Time to go see a Doctor and find out how damaged my body is. Quit smoking. Go to the gym. Most of all accept the fact that I rock and part of that is I can, absolutely can, go it alone until someone catches up... or I slow down enough.

Friday, November 29, 2013

Embrace the Damage

I am beginning to embrace my damage. This is why.

Thanksgiving Eve when I was having a bad day my oldest, and her boyfriend, came and picked me up for supper. I was sitting on the steps of the porch when they pulled up to the curb in my seasonally appropriate London Fog overcoat and I dutifully climbed into the backseat. Along the way I asked if we could stop by K-Mart so I could get a space heater, and with a lot of “This is nice Dad…” I indeed got a nice one. Complete with fake burning log effects! We ate and after that they curbed me again.

I have never felt that old before….

Yet this is the exciting part. I decided to have my bad of misery culminating with the broken toe, but today I was going to start working on a plan. It began over a very nice sandwich and fresh fruit side at the Red Elephant.

MDB (My Daughter’s Boyfriend) asked me what my long term plan was. Insert blank stare… Then he asked me if I could do anything I wanted what it would be. I said, “Have my own show on the History Channel.” (Imagine me at my curmudgeonly best.) Then the unexpected happened.

He took me seriously. He asked me if I had a plan and of course I didn’t because I pulled that out of my ass, but the next thing that came out of my head was I needed to go to college and he asked if it was a necessary step, and I was “Hell YES!” and I explained not why I needed to but why I wanted to which sounded a lot like a need. Then I added I needed to get to the top of the diver field too. He asked if it was a necessary step and I was… well this was the trend that continued. In the end before I do my show I need/want/need to get a PhD in History, and become a master class diver and I have ten years to do it in. The questions and justifications went on and on, but I defended every point I made under the scrutiny of a worthy Devil’s Advocate.

Then he asked what I wanted to do with that.

Okay get ready… seriously this is written down in a series of unorganized thoughts in my notebook… I said I wanted to set up a foundation that rammed STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) into the core curriculums of the Native American School system. I want them to build man-rated spaceships and go take over the moon. I want Apaches in the Sea of Tranquility, and I want Cherokees standing on top of Olympus Mons! (I know that’s Mars…)

This is the funny thing about all of this. It doesn’t sound crazy or unachievable to me.


I know it seems that way. I wasn’t even going to publish this. But this seems like a really good idea right now!

It is a great price to pay that I can give up on ever having a girlfriend...

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Day 10 of Buzz v 3.0

So I am feeling a little more introspective this morning. Grin… well meaning my skull isn’t racing out of control as normal. So please dear friends don’t take any of this as being depression. It is all just me identifying some issues and developing a plan of attack.

I need to do something. I mean I am dedicating myself to significant lifestyle changes for a reason. I just don’t know what. I don’t plan on slipping from this mortal coil with a well preserved husk, but at least until that point it will be high functioning. Normally in the past I competed in something or joined a team, and once I succeeded in it I lost interest and fell on bad habits. So this time around I’m not doing it. But I have to find something or I am going to lose my mind. One would think I am working on my bod I should get back into modeling again but I really don’t want too. I could join the Real-Life Superhero’s and prowl the streets of Jacksonville doing good deeds.

It will come to me. I just have to keep my eyes and my heart open and I won’t miss destiny when it beckons.
I want to go somewhere. I recently had a trip out of state dangled in front of me and it went away. I really have the itch to go. I know I joked about going to Orlando but now I am seriously considering it. Maybe a day trip to the Kennedy Space Center and get my rocketpunk on. I used to roam and explore and the spin-off was my mind was engaged, and had less a desire to do bad things to myself. I am still a kid at heart. My inner Lost Boy wants to chase pirates and rescue princess.

What I really want to see some friends I haven’t seen in a while. I really miss my people. Some of them live in Jacksonville.

Did make a new friend in a horribly embarrassing way. I met a Lady who I thought was a Lady acquaintance of mine at the Mariners Ball Saturday so I was all instant best friend.  It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized the woman I was playfully flirting with, sharing ribald humor with and being a wild child around was not who I thought it was… I was even “Nah… she made a FB page for a character…” I am happy to report though that a) this was not the most embarrassing thing I have ever done and b) I humbled myself and was forgiving with a modest amount of groveling…

At least I didn’t go to a wedding in a Speedo. That was a bad day.

So today’s agenda

- Not put in a ton of overtime.
-Not eat like I did yesterday.
-Try to not beat myself up over being listless and under-enthused… 

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Posted on Facebook 17 September 2012

So here is the plan for the first day of the rest of my new life.
- No smoking as today id the Quit Day. Talk to my Quit Coach.
- Go to the UNF pool and begin my membership
- Continue to avoid the Gate station as my blood pressure actually is trending towards being lowered and that is the only significant lifestyle change I made so far.
- Drink lots of water.
- Instead of going home and plopping on the couch after I get the place cleaned and the cooking done, I am going to have coffee with a friend. I figure it is going to be important to break up the old routines if the new ones are going to have a chance.
- Plan my Halloween photo shoot.
Wow.. this is just the first day….

Posted on Facebook 18 September 2012

Day 2 of Buzz 3.0 Progress Update

Tonight I swim! I live for this!!! I missed it for this season but UNF has a springboard diving class they offer to the community swimmers. I may try that out next time it gets offered. I even got a parking pass, and an ID for the pool. This is the closest I have been to being a college student in years!

Rewarded myself with a subscription to Sports Illustrated!
 Can’t wait until I get my complimentary Cleveland Browns T-shirt and Performance jacket!

Eating is going to be the hardest thing to control. For starters it was the part I planned for the least but is turning into one of the more important aspects. If there is a failure, food will be the first domino to fall.

In the meantime... Good attitude. Confidence in my will. Support from my crew. Not a worry in the world.

Posted on Facebook Today

Day 3 of Buzz 3.0

I feel pretty amazing. Which means I should be scared but the bad idea gene has long been dormant. I am trying to temper how good I feel knowing that in the future I am going to have rough days and it would be nice to avoid the emotional pendulum that is life.
Still I feel amazing!!!! The swim was the thing. I feel taut. I feel lean. I feel longer. I think I looked pretty good i
n the mirror too. I am going to have to add a core routine to my list of things to change. I am not young anymore and a few guys my age are starting to have major back problems and I would like to avoid that. If I get a six-pack out of the deal then cool.

Today’s agenda:
-See a friend after work.
-Plan a menu for the next week.
-Write. I have a few different pieces I am playing with right now. One that I am motivated for is an H.P. Lovecraft tribute. Sort of. Depends how hardcore you are into your Lovecraft.
-Swing by the UNF pool… which from now on will be referred to the Innsmouth Community Recreation Center… to see if there is a chance I can get my goggles back that I left there. I may dispatch my minion to do that for me!!!

....Also from today on Facebook....

I have to add Burger King to the list..... Gawd its just sitting there......

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Posted on Facebook September 4

So here is the plan. 7 September-I have two doctor visits. One, a physical I have put off for six years so we will see what kind of carnage is going on internally, and get chemicals. The other is for a specialist. 17 September- My quit day. Through the stop smoking program I enrolled in I get daily texts with encouragement and hints. I’ve also made my intentions as well known as I can with the Fa cebook event I posted. If I have to be honest here, I have been smoking since I was 15 and barely remember life without smokes. For those of you that never had what is life like and why did you never start. My problem is I don’t see an endgame here. It’s like I need to fill in the blank to the statement “I don’t smoke so that I can________.”

 September 24- Start swimming. I love running but it is murdering me. The years of abuse on my knees is finally catching up but there is with a little extra effort an opportunity to swim frequently. The pool is not convenient to get to but available. Three times a week is all I am shooting for.

That and not look fat in a Speedo.

 By this time whatever meds I am going to be on should be kicking in and I’ll know what kind of side effects I get to deal with before engaging in heroic physical activity.

A couple years ago I was shopping for a gym, and in at least three of the establishments I met with a personal trainer and they asked me what my fitness goals were. I told them I wanted to be a superhero. They wrote down I wanted to improve my health. Here is the deal. I am not worried about my health. I want to be more than I am right now though and that means if I want to be a superhero dammit I am going to be a superhero

 The first personal trainer I talk to that actually writes down that my fitness goal is to make me a superhero then I am probably gonna stick to that gym.

 Some other things I am up to in this latest push to save my life. I am going to make a superhero suit. Not sure if it is going to be Batman, Dr Strange, Bob they HYDRA Agent, Aquaman, Namor, or one of my own design but I am going to do it!

I am going to cut my hair too. I am sure you all have read enough.

 Thank you for listening.


 Posted on Facebook September 7

 So this is what I am looking at... High blood pressure and Low testosterone. Funny thing is I am like... Me.. low testosterone???? My mind may not think it is wearing out but the body is telling me something different! I am actually feeling good about all of this. I have a follow up in a month to review the lab work and figure things out from there. I was put on a no nachos ban.....

 Also posted on Facebook September 7

 Picking up a prescription from the specialist I have had an epiphany... I AM NO LONGER GOING TO BE ABLE TO EAT NACHOS AND ROLLER FOOD FROM THE GATE STATION!

 Posted on Facebook September 11

 I don't want anyone to think I am going to loose it. Just saying that right up front. After all I feel a responsibility as one of the Elder Geeks to serve as a cautionary tale.

The stress is building up. The plan was just to get a health check up, quit smoking and exercise a little more frequently.

Now there are a couple other things I have to do. Like wait in pins and needles to find out if I have hypertension, low testosterone and who the hell else knows what which could ultimately mean a complete change in the way I eat. It is all beginning to feel like I on Monday I become Buzz 3.0.

It's all a bit overwhelming. It's not like I can say at this point I'll punt the diet, or the exercise, or the cessation, or the eventual pile of meds I have to take off until I can deal with it on top of three jobs and scarce time for myself. It is all an interlocked system that if anyone component falters... well I falter.

I have a bunch of mechanisms in place so it's not like I am sitting around lamenting my fate. I am moving quite briskly lamenting my fate. I have an 8 week supply of nicotine patches, all of the information I need to join the pool at UNF, and have been reading up on WebMD about the possible conditions and treatments in case I do have hypertension, low testosterone, diabetes, erectile dysfunction yadda yadda yadda... and on top of that comparing diets for old guys. Right now it looks like the DASH Diet is in the lead. Gawd... I do not like fruits and vegetables. I can make pretty platters out of them but that is about it.

Scared? Much? Hells yeah.

Thanks for letting me share.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Almost made it.

Well.. it has been almost a year since I wrote a blog. Not that I haven't been writing, but it has been multible unfinished short stories.

Truth is for a while there , and posssibly even now blogging felt like an exercise in ego-stroking and vanity-harvesting. When I started this blog it was for the intention of science and nature and how to do both at same time, and now.. well it's been a year... so it isn't like anyone has ever learned anything or noticed I was absent.

It has been a year though. I ran a half-marathon, quit smoking, started smoking, worked two jobs one as a 16th century mercenary at a theme park/museum in St Augustine, and pretty muc am tired all the time.

Right now I was hoping to take the bicycle out for a very long ride but it looks like the weather has something to say about that.

I hope you are all well.


Monday, May 23, 2011

May 22, 1963

Well... yesterday was my birthday and I am glad that is over with....