Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Day 10 of Buzz v 3.0

So I am feeling a little more introspective this morning. Grin… well meaning my skull isn’t racing out of control as normal. So please dear friends don’t take any of this as being depression. It is all just me identifying some issues and developing a plan of attack.

I need to do something. I mean I am dedicating myself to significant lifestyle changes for a reason. I just don’t know what. I don’t plan on slipping from this mortal coil with a well preserved husk, but at least until that point it will be high functioning. Normally in the past I competed in something or joined a team, and once I succeeded in it I lost interest and fell on bad habits. So this time around I’m not doing it. But I have to find something or I am going to lose my mind. One would think I am working on my bod I should get back into modeling again but I really don’t want too. I could join the Real-Life Superhero’s and prowl the streets of Jacksonville doing good deeds.

It will come to me. I just have to keep my eyes and my heart open and I won’t miss destiny when it beckons.
I want to go somewhere. I recently had a trip out of state dangled in front of me and it went away. I really have the itch to go. I know I joked about going to Orlando but now I am seriously considering it. Maybe a day trip to the Kennedy Space Center and get my rocketpunk on. I used to roam and explore and the spin-off was my mind was engaged, and had less a desire to do bad things to myself. I am still a kid at heart. My inner Lost Boy wants to chase pirates and rescue princess.

What I really want to see some friends I haven’t seen in a while. I really miss my people. Some of them live in Jacksonville.

Did make a new friend in a horribly embarrassing way. I met a Lady who I thought was a Lady acquaintance of mine at the Mariners Ball Saturday so I was all instant best friend.  It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized the woman I was playfully flirting with, sharing ribald humor with and being a wild child around was not who I thought it was… I was even “Nah… she made a FB page for a character…” I am happy to report though that a) this was not the most embarrassing thing I have ever done and b) I humbled myself and was forgiving with a modest amount of groveling…

At least I didn’t go to a wedding in a Speedo. That was a bad day.

So today’s agenda

- Not put in a ton of overtime.
-Not eat like I did yesterday.
-Try to not beat myself up over being listless and under-enthused… 

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Posted on Facebook 17 September 2012

So here is the plan for the first day of the rest of my new life.
- No smoking as today id the Quit Day. Talk to my Quit Coach.
- Go to the UNF pool and begin my membership
- Continue to avoid the Gate station as my blood pressure actually is trending towards being lowered and that is the only significant lifestyle change I made so far.
- Drink lots of water.
- Instead of going home and plopping on the couch after I get the place cleaned and the cooking done, I am going to have coffee with a friend. I figure it is going to be important to break up the old routines if the new ones are going to have a chance.
- Plan my Halloween photo shoot.
Wow.. this is just the first day….

Posted on Facebook 18 September 2012

Day 2 of Buzz 3.0 Progress Update

Tonight I swim! I live for this!!! I missed it for this season but UNF has a springboard diving class they offer to the community swimmers. I may try that out next time it gets offered. I even got a parking pass, and an ID for the pool. This is the closest I have been to being a college student in years!

Rewarded myself with a subscription to Sports Illustrated!
 Can’t wait until I get my complimentary Cleveland Browns T-shirt and Performance jacket!

Eating is going to be the hardest thing to control. For starters it was the part I planned for the least but is turning into one of the more important aspects. If there is a failure, food will be the first domino to fall.

In the meantime... Good attitude. Confidence in my will. Support from my crew. Not a worry in the world.

Posted on Facebook Today

Day 3 of Buzz 3.0

I feel pretty amazing. Which means I should be scared but the bad idea gene has long been dormant. I am trying to temper how good I feel knowing that in the future I am going to have rough days and it would be nice to avoid the emotional pendulum that is life.
Still I feel amazing!!!! The swim was the thing. I feel taut. I feel lean. I feel longer. I think I looked pretty good i
n the mirror too. I am going to have to add a core routine to my list of things to change. I am not young anymore and a few guys my age are starting to have major back problems and I would like to avoid that. If I get a six-pack out of the deal then cool.

Today’s agenda:
-See a friend after work.
-Plan a menu for the next week.
-Write. I have a few different pieces I am playing with right now. One that I am motivated for is an H.P. Lovecraft tribute. Sort of. Depends how hardcore you are into your Lovecraft.
-Swing by the UNF pool… which from now on will be referred to the Innsmouth Community Recreation Center… to see if there is a chance I can get my goggles back that I left there. I may dispatch my minion to do that for me!!!

....Also from today on Facebook....

I have to add Burger King to the list..... Gawd its just sitting there......

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Posted on Facebook September 4

So here is the plan. 7 September-I have two doctor visits. One, a physical I have put off for six years so we will see what kind of carnage is going on internally, and get chemicals. The other is for a specialist. 17 September- My quit day. Through the stop smoking program I enrolled in I get daily texts with encouragement and hints. I’ve also made my intentions as well known as I can with the Fa cebook event I posted. If I have to be honest here, I have been smoking since I was 15 and barely remember life without smokes. For those of you that never had what is life like and why did you never start. My problem is I don’t see an endgame here. It’s like I need to fill in the blank to the statement “I don’t smoke so that I can________.”

 September 24- Start swimming. I love running but it is murdering me. The years of abuse on my knees is finally catching up but there is with a little extra effort an opportunity to swim frequently. The pool is not convenient to get to but available. Three times a week is all I am shooting for.

That and not look fat in a Speedo.

 By this time whatever meds I am going to be on should be kicking in and I’ll know what kind of side effects I get to deal with before engaging in heroic physical activity.

A couple years ago I was shopping for a gym, and in at least three of the establishments I met with a personal trainer and they asked me what my fitness goals were. I told them I wanted to be a superhero. They wrote down I wanted to improve my health. Here is the deal. I am not worried about my health. I want to be more than I am right now though and that means if I want to be a superhero dammit I am going to be a superhero

 The first personal trainer I talk to that actually writes down that my fitness goal is to make me a superhero then I am probably gonna stick to that gym.

 Some other things I am up to in this latest push to save my life. I am going to make a superhero suit. Not sure if it is going to be Batman, Dr Strange, Bob they HYDRA Agent, Aquaman, Namor, or one of my own design but I am going to do it!

I am going to cut my hair too. I am sure you all have read enough.

 Thank you for listening.


 Posted on Facebook September 7

 So this is what I am looking at... High blood pressure and Low testosterone. Funny thing is I am like... Me.. low testosterone???? My mind may not think it is wearing out but the body is telling me something different! I am actually feeling good about all of this. I have a follow up in a month to review the lab work and figure things out from there. I was put on a no nachos ban.....

 Also posted on Facebook September 7

 Picking up a prescription from the specialist I have had an epiphany... I AM NO LONGER GOING TO BE ABLE TO EAT NACHOS AND ROLLER FOOD FROM THE GATE STATION!

 Posted on Facebook September 11

 I don't want anyone to think I am going to loose it. Just saying that right up front. After all I feel a responsibility as one of the Elder Geeks to serve as a cautionary tale.

The stress is building up. The plan was just to get a health check up, quit smoking and exercise a little more frequently.

Now there are a couple other things I have to do. Like wait in pins and needles to find out if I have hypertension, low testosterone and who the hell else knows what which could ultimately mean a complete change in the way I eat. It is all beginning to feel like I on Monday I become Buzz 3.0.

It's all a bit overwhelming. It's not like I can say at this point I'll punt the diet, or the exercise, or the cessation, or the eventual pile of meds I have to take off until I can deal with it on top of three jobs and scarce time for myself. It is all an interlocked system that if anyone component falters... well I falter.

I have a bunch of mechanisms in place so it's not like I am sitting around lamenting my fate. I am moving quite briskly lamenting my fate. I have an 8 week supply of nicotine patches, all of the information I need to join the pool at UNF, and have been reading up on WebMD about the possible conditions and treatments in case I do have hypertension, low testosterone, diabetes, erectile dysfunction yadda yadda yadda... and on top of that comparing diets for old guys. Right now it looks like the DASH Diet is in the lead. Gawd... I do not like fruits and vegetables. I can make pretty platters out of them but that is about it.

Scared? Much? Hells yeah.

Thanks for letting me share.