Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Day 10 of Buzz v 3.0

So I am feeling a little more introspective this morning. Grin… well meaning my skull isn’t racing out of control as normal. So please dear friends don’t take any of this as being depression. It is all just me identifying some issues and developing a plan of attack.

I need to do something. I mean I am dedicating myself to significant lifestyle changes for a reason. I just don’t know what. I don’t plan on slipping from this mortal coil with a well preserved husk, but at least until that point it will be high functioning. Normally in the past I competed in something or joined a team, and once I succeeded in it I lost interest and fell on bad habits. So this time around I’m not doing it. But I have to find something or I am going to lose my mind. One would think I am working on my bod I should get back into modeling again but I really don’t want too. I could join the Real-Life Superhero’s and prowl the streets of Jacksonville doing good deeds.

It will come to me. I just have to keep my eyes and my heart open and I won’t miss destiny when it beckons.
I want to go somewhere. I recently had a trip out of state dangled in front of me and it went away. I really have the itch to go. I know I joked about going to Orlando but now I am seriously considering it. Maybe a day trip to the Kennedy Space Center and get my rocketpunk on. I used to roam and explore and the spin-off was my mind was engaged, and had less a desire to do bad things to myself. I am still a kid at heart. My inner Lost Boy wants to chase pirates and rescue princess.

What I really want to see some friends I haven’t seen in a while. I really miss my people. Some of them live in Jacksonville.

Did make a new friend in a horribly embarrassing way. I met a Lady who I thought was a Lady acquaintance of mine at the Mariners Ball Saturday so I was all instant best friend.  It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized the woman I was playfully flirting with, sharing ribald humor with and being a wild child around was not who I thought it was… I was even “Nah… she made a FB page for a character…” I am happy to report though that a) this was not the most embarrassing thing I have ever done and b) I humbled myself and was forgiving with a modest amount of groveling…

At least I didn’t go to a wedding in a Speedo. That was a bad day.

So today’s agenda

- Not put in a ton of overtime.
-Not eat like I did yesterday.
-Try to not beat myself up over being listless and under-enthused… 

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