Friday, August 15, 2014

So... it has been a while since I have written anything and this has nothing to do with science or nature. It has to do with something much more vast and mysterious...
So after a week of online dating I have the following observations.

- Evidently adventurous nurses and teachers find me attractive. Thank you for that.  I have to step up my game and take better care of myself and read more instead of...oh I don't know.... spending every waking moment on an online dating site.

- A lot of women, and I say women only because men do not show up in my search filter but I imagine we are just as bad, say no drama and no baggage. I understand this intolerance but that alone is drama and baggage. We all have drama and baggage. It is nice to know that you are willing to get mud on you Elizabethan dress and risk getting mud on your tiara when my steed periodically bucks me off.
- For some reason we all have selfies in our car on our profiles. I love them. I can tell a lot about you from that. That is why my next car selfies is going to show a high speed car chase in the back window.
- I you say "looking for someone to share my interests" do not stop there! For the love of the Creator tell me what those interests are in as much detail as possible!
- Having lots of sexy pics of yourself with no bio tells me exactly how boring you are.
- Long walks on the beach and candle light dinners... why aren't the beaches more crowded at night and how come I can always get a seat at a restaurant. Mos def do not expect this to be the first date. These are things I will share with someone when they are special.
- When you say you enjoy riding on the back of a bike or boating do you have a motorcycle or a boat or is this one of those expectations I flunked? You don't want my baggage or drama but you want my bike and my boat.
- If God is #1 in your life what do you want me for? Not being snarky I really want to know. I sorta get it. My dad was a Baptist minister and if not for this long running crisis of faith I have had I very well could be Jesuit Priest right now.
- Your children on the other hand better be the most important thing in your life. Mine are and shame on you for thinking they never will be. I even get along with their mother.
- Ex's happen. They become filters of the way we see things so they will come up in conversation so try to be a little more tolerant.
- Sex. Now that is the elephant in the corner of the room. We are not as evolved as we think we are. I admit I want a long term relationship. I want to get married again. I am not going to love and leave any more than dine and dash but if there is no sex or if it is boring that is going to put a damper on things. Ladies... I am so sorry you got played. I am so sorry if I ever did it. But we are animals and this is what we do.
- Just because I am an old white guy, geriatric European-American, doesn't mean that is the ethnicity I am interested in. If you are a geek and like exploring then it doesn't matter what the gene pool handed you. To be fair... most of the time when I do use the search filters I do select America Indian, Indian, Middle Eastern, Asian, and African American.
- Honesty, trustworthy, and loyal have to be proven. Saying that is what you want isn’t going to guarantee it. Dickwads will use this to prey on you.

- Women my age are hot!
- Now this is the hardest part for me to admit. I told a friend of mine this the other day and I owe her roses for this breakthrough. If the women I know don't find me attractive then I have no expectation that complete strangers will either. So enough trolling. Enough living complete lifetimes in a single thought. Time to go see a Doctor and find out how damaged my body is. Quit smoking. Go to the gym. Most of all accept the fact that I rock and part of that is I can, absolutely can, go it alone until someone catches up... or I slow down enough.

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